It's not enough to conquer...

...one must know how to seduce.

163,726 notes

wentworthsbitch:

bayoread:

myrtlewilson:

judedeluca:

myrtlewilson:

none of your mythological faves were even remotely straight like welcome 2 the real world jackass hercules had a fuckton of anal sex

People believe what they choose to.

it’s literally not a matter of belief there is literally a vase with a painting of zeus fucking his cupbearer ganymede while ganymede is holding a dildo like u can’t just not believe in thousand year old pottery

image

O H MY GOD

(via flavors-of-sam)

305,146 notes

collectiveassbutts:

mmkayn:

vastderp:

lalaland1212:

theatre-whovian:

vastderp:

Meet the Mona Lisa of the Prado, the earliest known copy of Da Vinci’s best portrait. Similarity in the undersketch of the painting indicates that this was very likely painted concurrently with the original Mona Lisa, by a student of Da Vinci.
There is much controversy in the art world over the question of whether or not to clean the fragile Mona Lisa, but her sister has been restored and some fairly odd later alterations removed to show the original vibrant colors and lighting. Some details, such as the sheerness of her shawl and the pattern on the neckline of her dress, have become utterly obscured in the original, but in the restored copy they’re perfectly clear.
It blows my mind a little bit to look at these two sisters side-by-side and imagine how much vivid detail could be hiding in the Mona Lisa under 500 years of rotten varnish. 

THE COPY HAS EYEBROWS

Your response to a beautiful piece of artwork done by Leonardo Da Vinci himself is “SHES GOT EYEBROWS”. Alright. All intelligent life has been lost.

Yo Snooty McSnotwhine, the Mona Lisa’s vanished eyebrows have been the subject of debate and analysis in the art expert community for hundreds of years, long before your parents squirted water at each other from across the clown car and then honked their bicycle horns to indicate they really wanted to make a smug, insufferable little clown baby together. 

this continues to be the best reply to a criticizing comment on this site

oh my god

collectiveassbutts:

mmkayn:

vastderp:

lalaland1212:

theatre-whovian:

vastderp:

Meet the Mona Lisa of the Prado, the earliest known copy of Da Vinci’s best portrait. Similarity in the undersketch of the painting indicates that this was very likely painted concurrently with the original Mona Lisa, by a student of Da Vinci.

There is much controversy in the art world over the question of whether or not to clean the fragile Mona Lisa, but her sister has been restored and some fairly odd later alterations removed to show the original vibrant colors and lighting. Some details, such as the sheerness of her shawl and the pattern on the neckline of her dress, have become utterly obscured in the original, but in the restored copy they’re perfectly clear.

It blows my mind a little bit to look at these two sisters side-by-side and imagine how much vivid detail could be hiding in the Mona Lisa under 500 years of rotten varnish. 

THE COPY HAS EYEBROWS

Your response to a beautiful piece of artwork done by Leonardo Da Vinci himself is “SHES GOT EYEBROWS”. Alright. All intelligent life has been lost.

Yo Snooty McSnotwhine, the Mona Lisa’s vanished eyebrows have been the subject of debate and analysis in the art expert community for hundreds of years, long before your parents squirted water at each other from across the clown car and then honked their bicycle horns to indicate they really wanted to make a smug, insufferable little clown baby together. 

this continues to be the best reply to a criticizing comment on this site

oh my god

(Source: vastderp-placeholder, via mrtwentington)

223,990 notes

puppetmasternaegi:

2xpistolsandawink:

nottheshepardyourelookingfor:

aktwerkthatbooty:

Jesus Christ.

THIS IS MY FAVORITE.

I just hurt myself laughing

Jesus, you JESUS.

OH MY GOD

(Source: candywater, via wizard-princess)

482,176 notes

hootaloo:

hootaloo:

bowrll:

mortisreptus:

fireskink:

alltailnolegs:

mcsprankles:

idcsam:

shadow-pop:

whatisagorman:

snakelet:

this is 911 state your emergency


YES I NEED HELP IMMEDIATELY I CAN’T FIND MY LIZARD


911 I THINK MY LIZARD IS BROKEN


YOU THINK YOU’VE GOT PROBLEMS? MY PHONE SEEMS TO HAVE LOST IT’S LEGS


911 I CAN’T GET MY PHONE OFF THE RECEIVER


MA’AM YOUR PHONE NEEDS TO BE IN THE UNLOCKED POSITION AND MAY NEED TO BE PROVIDED WITH ADDITIONAL HARDWARE TO FUNCTION CORRECTLY.


YES HELLO 911 CAN YOU HEAR ME I DROPPED MY HEADSET IN THE WATER DO YOU READ


TO BE HONEST 911, I AM NOT SURE WHAT MY PHONE IS DOING

911 MY PHONE IS FACING THE WRONG WAY AND I CAN’T GET IT TO TURN AROUND.


yes 911 hello all these people are crazy

this is still going around and it makes me rly happy.

hootaloo:

hootaloo:

bowrll:

mortisreptus:

fireskink:

alltailnolegs:

mcsprankles:

idcsam:

shadow-pop:

whatisagorman:

snakelet:

this is 911 state your emergency

image

YES I NEED HELP IMMEDIATELY I CAN’T FIND MY LIZARD

image

911 I THINK MY LIZARD IS BROKEN

image

YOU THINK YOU’VE GOT PROBLEMS? MY PHONE SEEMS TO HAVE LOST IT’S LEGS

image

911 I CAN’T GET MY PHONE OFF THE RECEIVER

image

MA’AM YOUR PHONE NEEDS TO BE IN THE UNLOCKED POSITION AND MAY NEED TO BE PROVIDED WITH ADDITIONAL HARDWARE TO FUNCTION CORRECTLY.

image

YES HELLO 911 CAN YOU HEAR ME I DROPPED MY HEADSET IN THE WATER DO YOU READ

image

TO BE HONEST 911, I AM NOT SURE WHAT MY PHONE IS DOING

image
911 MY PHONE IS FACING THE WRONG WAY AND I CAN’T GET IT TO TURN AROUND.

image

yes 911 hello all these people are crazy

this is still going around and it makes me rly happy.

(Source: babylizard, via youre-not-listening)